There is nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this guy handled it.
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’
‘There’s something wrong with my dick’, he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. ‘
‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.
The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’
The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’
‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. ‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’
‘I can’t piss out of it,’ he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter…
Mess with seniors, and you’re going to lose….(yep, sure are) đ
â š`*âąâ«.âąPass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. â« ..âą* â
A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man consults his portable GPS and replies, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, “You must be a Republican!”
“I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” answers the balloonist, “everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’re not much help to me.”
The man smiles and responds, “You must be a Democrat.”
“I am, replies the balloonist. “How did you know?”
“Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it’s my fault.”
đĄđ€ŹWTH!!!!! đ€ŹđĄ
So I go through the drive-through to pick up my sandwich, start heading down the road, pull it out of the bag and see this…
I know I asked for a lot on my sandwich and took off a few things that I didn’t like but this was sooooooooo unnecessary! So I turn my truck around pissed off and head back up there to make a complaint with the manager and find out who did this!!!! I mean customer service is huge with me and I wasnât gonna let this slide right??Â
just to be told it says……
“BLT with cheese!” đđ€Ł
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The young man replied, Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldnât help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, âThe Double Mint Twins are comingâ and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, âLoganâs Liniment will reduce the swellingâ, and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, âWilliamâs Big Stick Did the Trickâ, and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, âGoodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accidentâ, I just lost it.
âCASE DISMISSED!!â
Two men are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver asks, “What the hell was that for?”
The cop answers, “You’re in Texas son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car.”
The driver says, “I’m sorry, Officer, I’m not from around here.”
The cop runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
The passenger asks, “What’d you do that for?”
The cop says, “Just making your wish come true.”
The passenger asks, “Making what wish come true?”
The cop says, “I know that two miles down the road you’re gonna say to your buddy, “I wish that Son-of-a-B*tch would’ve tried that sh*t with me!”
An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course & heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house. As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
COLD BEER: $5.00
HAMBURGER: $10.00
CHEESEBURGER: $15.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $18.50
HAND JOB: $250.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the old golfer walks up to the bar & beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers. She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer. âYes?â she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. âMay I help?”
The old golfer leans over the bar & whispers, âI was wondering young lady, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?â She looks into his wrinkled eyes & with a wide smile purrs, âYes sir, I sure am.â
The old golfer leans in even closer & into her left ear
says softly: âWell then, be sure to wash your hands real good, because I want a cheeseburger.â
A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman”
She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he said, “How much will you charge me?”
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man’s wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?”
He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?”
The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we’ve been getting by email lately.”
Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” the startled husband asked.
“Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.
âAnd, by the way,” the teenager added, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”
