The morning after

Bob woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a
pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall
the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the
bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some
coffee in front of him.

“Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it
as bad as I think?”

“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a
complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the
entire board of directors and you insulted the president of
the company, right to his face.”

“He’s an idiot,” Bob said. “Piss on him!” “You did,” came the
reply. “And he fired you.”

“Well, screw him!” said Bob. “I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”