Category: Jokes

Funny jokes

Blonds password

During a recent password audit, our I.T. discovered a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento

When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

World’s Shortest Books

MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS
By Tiger Woods

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
By Jane Fonda
& Michelle Obama
Illustrated by Michael Moore
Foreword by George Soros

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
& HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
By “The Rev Jesse Jackson”
& “The Rev Al Sharpton”

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
By Hillary Clinton

Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
By Bill Gates

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman

THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
By Al Gore & John Kerry

HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST
By Dr. Jack Kevorkian

TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED BEFORE
By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O’Donnell

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
By Mike Tyson

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
By O. J. Simpson

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
By Ted Kennedy

MY BOOK ON MORALS
By Bill Clinton
With introduction by
The Rev. Jesse Jackson
and foreword by
Tiger Woods with John Edwards

HOW TO WIN A SUPER BOWL
BY THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS
Forward by Buffalo Bills

AND, JUST ADDED:
My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy
By Nancy Pelosi

And the shortest book of all….

THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
By Barack Obama

Grandma got run over by the Trump train,

“Grandma got run over by the Trump train.
Rigging all the polls election eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as karma.
But as for me and America we believe.

She’d been drinking too much kool aid.
And we begged her not to cheat.
But she wasn’t on medication.
So she made deals with Arabs and DC elites.

Grandma got run over by the Trump train.
Rigging all the polls election eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as karma.
But as for me and America we believe.

When we found her the next morning.
People all screamed Trump was worse.
She had track marks on her forehead.
And incriminating emails in her purse.

Grandma got run over by the Trump train.
Rigging all the polls election eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as karma.
But as for me and America we believe.

Now we’re not real proud of liberals
They’ve not been taking it real well.
See them burning down their cities
Looting stores and overall just raising hell.

Grandma got run over by the Trump train.
Rigging all the polls election eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as karma.
But as for me and America we believe.

Now that Trump has won the White House.
All the snowflakes are about to crack.
And we just can’t help but wonder:
Will he let illegals stay or send them back?
SEND THEM BACK!!!

Grandma got run over by the Trump train.
Rigging all the polls election eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as karma.
But as for me and America we believe.

Now the economy is on an upswing.
And Americans sleep in peace. Ahh.
And the red white and blue fireworks.
Remind me how Mattis will deal with the middle east.

Grandma got run over by the Trump train.
Rigging all the polls election eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as karma.
But as for me and America we believe.

I celebrated with all my neighbors.
As Hillary fell from grace.
And now it makes me proud to say
God bless President Trump and the USA!”