Cowboy, Indian, and Mexican

Posted by: Mike Carver  /  Category: Ethnic Jokes

There are three men around a fire, a cowboy a mexican and an
Indian. The Indian stands up and says, “We were once many but
now we are few.” The Mexican stands up and says, “We were once
few and now we are many.” Then the cowboy stands and says,
“That’s because we haven’t played cowboys and Mexicans yet.”

Cowboy Health Secret

Posted by: Mike Carver  /  Category: Funny Stories

A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

explosion

The morning after

Posted by: Mike Carver  /  Category: Work jokes

Bob woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a
pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall
the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the
bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some
coffee in front of him.

“Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it
as bad as I think?”

“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a
complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the
entire board of directors and you insulted the president of
the company, right to his face.”

“He’s an idiot,” Bob said. “Piss on him!” “You did,” came the
reply. “And he fired you.”

“Well, screw him!” said Bob. “I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”

The Cop and the Speeder

Posted by: Mike Carver  /  Category: Work jokes

A young guy is speeding across a bridge in his fancy sports car.
Sure enough, a cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other side
of the bridge. The cop pulls him over, then walks up to the
guy’s car and asks, “What’s the hurry?” The guy replies, “I’m
late for work, officer.” “What do you do?” “Well, I’m a rectum
stretcher.” “What? A rectum stretcher?” The guy explains, “Yeah.
I start with a finger, then work my way up to two fingers…
eventually I get a hand in, then both hands, and I slowly
stretch it until it’s about six feet wide.” The curious cop
asks, “What do you do with a six-foot asshole?” The guy answers,
“Well, you give him a radar gun and park him at the end of a
bridge.”