Month: August 2013
A lady went into a bar in Austin and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet. The cowboy grinned and said, “Shore is, little lady! Why don’t you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you?”
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, “Well, thank ya Ma’am. I’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.”
“The woman replied, “Don’t be flattered …take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”
Chocolate Test {…No cheating!!}
Take this cute chocolate test to find out your true being.
If you were buying candy and you had your choice of the following,which would you choose?
BABY RUTH
3 MUSKETEERS
BUTTERFINGERS
SNICKERS
HERSHEY’S
ALMOND JOY with ALMONDS
CLARK BAR
GOOD ‘n’ PLENTY
ENERGY BAR
CHOCOLATE COATED RAISINS
Ok – Now That We Have Your Choice, This Is What Research Says About You!!!
And NO….you can’t change your mind once you scroll down. So think carefully about what your choice will be!
BABY RUTH – Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm fuzzy items. A little nutty. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day.
3 MUSKETEERS – You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your sabre.
BUTTERFINGER – Smooth articulate, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don’t try to walk and chew gum at the same time.
SNICKERS – Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Everyone enjoys being around you. But you are a practical joker – others should be cautious in shaking hands!
HERSHEY – Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt.
ALMOND JOY – Sexy, always ready to give and receive, very energetic, and really like to get into life. The opposite sex is always attracted to you.
CLARK BAR – You like sports, whether baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but enjoy watching sports. You don’t like to give up the remote control.
GOOD ‘n’ PLENTY – You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person.
ENERGY BAR – Life is passing you by. Get a life!!!! Go eat a plum.
CHOCOLATE COATED RAISINS – You go to the bathroom often.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
“What do you think you’re doing?” asks the wife.
“They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans” he replies.
“Put them back, we can’t afford them” demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
“What do you think you’re doing?” asks the husband.
“It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: “So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it’s half the price.”
A blind man enters a Ladies bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says: “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair – giving that you are blind – that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde
woman with a black belt in Karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is
blonde and is a proffesional
weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde
and is a proffesional wretler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and declares: “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times”.
