Older and Smarter,

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet when suddenly a Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus, and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: “Airbus, the boring flight, isn’t it? Now have a look here!” He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: “Well, how was that?”The Airbus pilot answers: “Very impressive, but watch this!”The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, “Well, how was that? Confused, the jet pilot asks, “What did you do?”The Airbus pilot laughs and says: “I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry.”The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seem to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important. This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older, and Smarter. Dedicated to all my senior friends ~ it’s time to slow down and enjoy the rest of the trip.

20th Anniversary

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.’ What’s the matter, dear’ she whispers as she steps into the room, ‘Why are you down here at this time of night husband looks up from his coffee, ‘It’s the 20th Anniversary of the day we met. She can’t believe he has remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, ‘Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,’ he says solemnly. Once again, the wife is touched to tears. ‘Yes, I do’ she replies. The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. ‘Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car”Yes, I remember’ said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him. The husband continued. ‘Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years” I remember that too’ she replied softly? He wiped another tear from his cheek and said “I would have gotten out today.”

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Urgent, Home Wanted

URGENT NEW HOME WANTED! This is Bella, she’s an 8 week-old German Sheppard puppy, I bought her as a surprise for my wife for Christmas but it turns out she is allergic to dogs so I am now urgently looking to find her a new home I don’t want any money just free to a good home. Her name is Angie she’s 45 years old, a beautiful and caring woman who drives, she is a great cook, good with kids and always keeps a clean house.

Democratic National Committee

A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their parents do for a living. All the typical answers came up – mechanic, business, sales, doctor, engineer… and so forth. However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his parents, he replied, “My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside.”Is that really true about your father?” No,” the boy said, “He works for the Democratic National Committee and is trying to get Biden elected, but it’s too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids.”